Bethan ~ 18 ~ Anime trash
"Your wish... has been heard loud and clear!"
tsuukkis asked:
The "Erwin´s Secrets" book did not go unnoticed. I need the contents.
drinkyourfuckingmilk replied:

it was actually his diary, I imagined it was like:

"dear diary: today I made a solid 44 sacrifices for humanity, a new personal best. celebrated with a bottle of scotch and a nice long cry. in other news, levi has unfortunately drained the entire contents of the survey corps black tea supply and hange fell down seven flights of stairs trying to carry what I think were titan-sized mittens for that weird jaeger kid. the damage those two fucking bastards do to my budget makes me want to lasso them with my bolo tie and fling them over Wall Maria. I’m going to have to threaten to flirt with Nile’s wife again so he’ll convince the higher ups to increase the budget. will have to polish my cheekbones in preparation so Nile knows I’m serious. also, mike continues to sniff my eyebrows and says they smell like secrets. I don’t get it. I think he’s just jealous that my eyebrow game is stronger than the colossal titans left ballsack.

tomorrow we’re going on the 11987th expedition. expecting to lose about 85% of the new 104th recruits. I told the cook to give them a bonus scoop of butter to ease my crippling sense of guilt over the fact that they’ll probably all die before they even figure out where babies come from. tho I’m considering paying levi a little extra on the side to push that arlert kid into a titans mouth. his eyebrow game is fierce for his age and I fear he will surpass me which is frankly unacceptable. 

loneliness rating for the day: catastrophic 

- erwin smith, 13th commander of the survey corps”


erwin is spiraling out of control. he must be stopped.